second time newcomer, back for more

[25yearsmlc]

Went to see the therapist today. He said it raised some red flags that W was talking to her friend about her problems instead of me

He told me I need to sit her down and bring it up,

Which goes against the ideas I've gotten here about not to push and she'll come to me when she's ready

???

not sure of your situation yet but your question is "My t says one thing and db says another."

My advice is to pick an approach and give it a chance before switching lanes.

Don't try to do 2-4 approaches at once or they'll all fail and be half a$$.

AND OR

tell your t of the DB approach, solution based and double check if that affects their opinion.

Til I read your thread, that's my advice and it probably IS my advice anyhow.

The other point is, do YOU TRUST YOUR T TO GET YOU RESULTS??

i've gone to several MCs and T's. I liked them all. But there's something I need from them, which is a treatment plan of sorts.

When one said to me "If we have not made progress within half a dozen or FEWER sessions, we're not working well enough together" and that was the one I stayed with. He was in alignment with DBing practices as well.

Others had re-hashed the past or justified ME leaving my h or just told me my h was a "selfish man" or "behaving like a single man."

Both statements were, in fact true, but what do I DO With that "information"?

See my point?

You need an action plan, not just a fan to listen.

Good luck