Divorced. My fault, and cant move forward

[Mrs D]

Thank you MrB. The letter isnt actually going to my Mom - I think it is just an excerise to get me on the road to forgiveness to her, and to myself. I do pity her to be honest. I see the woman that she is now - she is very unhealthy, very negative - a drunk. I think she holds alot of regret from her past. In all honesty, I wish she would acknowledge she did it for HERSELF, so that she may heal and become a better person as well.

Yes - I am different from my Mom in that aspect, but I also hold alot of shame, guilt and remorse for betraying H. I need to get to the point where I need to find peace within myself for doing that to him. And until I get to the core issue what the problem was - I dont think I can.

Hes told me alot that he doesnt know if he can ever trust me again, I am doing everything I know possible to show I can be trusted. I know it wont come overnight. I know he still loves me. I know that up to I guess almost 5 weeks ago, he wanted us to be a family. So I think there is still hope. I just need to work on me. Become that person that holds integrity again.