Divorced. My fault, and cant move forward

[MrBond]

Not sure what writing the letter is going to do. If your mom doesn't acknowledge the A, I don't think she's going to acknowledge your letter. I think to a certain degree, you want her to be apologetic and remorseful. There's a big difference between you and your mom. YOU have been remorseful while she hasn't.

When she doesn't show any remorse or apologies, etc., all she's doing is protecting herself like a shell. AFter all, she's not wrong so she can't be hurt. You want her to apologize to the scared girl you were all those years ago. Sometimes if you don't want to forgive her, you don't have to. Forgiveness has to be truly felt within. Maybe you pity your mom for being so insecure. Whatever the reason, you have to actually be a peace with it.

Also in terms of your sitch, the EA wasn't the issue. It was the A before it. Just when he starts trusting you again, you have an EA which you refuse to give up. Why should he trust you? For your sitch it's all about trust. You need to show him that you can be trustworthy. That's why it's important right now for you to say what you mean and follow up on it.