Divorced. My fault, and cant move forward

[Mrs D]

"Nothing that I ever wanted,"

It's odd when you keep mentioning this. I mean, you had an A, then you had an EA with a trainer that you refused to stop. What did you expect? Would you consider it cake-eating what you did?

MrB - its possible? My counselor thinks it has more to do with my not forgiving myself for the affair in the first place. Not being able to let myself be loved by my husband because of the guilt and shame I felt because of the affair - but wanting attention. Its definately possible that it was cake eating - either way - I didnt want that divorce. I am peeling back the layers trying to understand myself why this all happened, and why I didnt make it right. I love that man more than anything in the world. I made multiple mistakes. I can only learn from them and hope. Believe and have faith that my H will be forgiving and give me another chance to make it all right.