Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Okay, the mothering thing is a bad habit I have with him. I know that but I don't always see when I'm doing it. Thank you.

I actually didn't want a reaction, truly. I just want to keep the bumps as small as possible. But it's moot now. I did receive a response. He's in the "I don't care and I'm over worrying about what they may think about me" mode. Go or don't go, doesn't matter. He hope they would hear both sides (his and the OW's H) and then come to a conclusion but he's resigned to losing them if it comes to it. His biggest concern is our S and the rest of the children ultimately effected. Also, me setting boundaries with the OW's H about discussing our situation.

He emailed a second time and said just go and stop worrying about it. I didn't take this as "permission", just him saying don't worry about him being hurt.

I'm actually encouraged by this. Not for our relationship but for him. He seems to be less reactive or at least more able to step back from his initial reaction and think through it.

LA, I love the guy and regardless of our past, I want our marriage to work. In my mind I have to do all this DR stuff to better myself but still not damage what we have right now. If it doesn't work out for us, I don't want it to be for something I did or didn't do now. If we do split I don't want to be in a situation where we, as co-parents, remain bitter and nasty and hurt our son even more. I'm not deferring to him but I am taking him into consideration, ultimately for the sake of our S. Our S is the most important thing here. If H is angry at me for what ever reason or vice versa, we negatively impact him.

Walking the tightrope in 4 inch stilettos.