I view longer interactions with the spouse as potentially (If the LBS can handle it) being more benficial in showing changes.
Instilling doubt in the WAS, and not showing them that a happy, epathetic LBS might be better off without them or agree with their choices.

I, like you Starsky and Denver, and many other vets agree that "I will not be in your life" boundary is vital and required for a marriage to mend.

So, we agree there and always have.

I think we disagree on the when. And I don't have any faith in back channel information on something this important, in so much that the information isn't telephone game screwed up by the time it gets to the spouse.



Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis

Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans

Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK

TRUST THE PROCESS - Cadet