Basic question for the "I will not be in you life if he/she is" approach.
What if you're, as a person for the last few years, a dick/bitch when you issue that ulitmatum?
This is why I believe in a "dual-track" approach: you simultaneously work on NOT being a di*k/beotch, and becoming a better you, WHILE you enforce the hard "I will not be in your life while OM/OW is in yours" boundary.
