Carnac: Thanks for the speedy reply! I think putting a halt to the flirting is a good idea, and I'm planning on doing that. If I feel that she starts to warm to it again, or if she shows any sign in that respect, I'll give it another shot. I agree that although she's probably not disliking it, I can't see it getting me closer to my goals at this moment.
As far as "Talk to you soon" being more an expression than a plan, I've got to agree with you there. She's pretty specific with a date when she's really planning to talk... And even then it's normally a day or two after the promised day. This used to hurt my feelings, but now I can shrug it off much easier.
Now for the "fight for her" aspect. I'm so glad you said what you said and suggested what you did. FYI, you're advice is very similar to that of my IC, which is a great testament to you!
The day after that particular conversation, on my ICs advice I sent a quick note, telling her I'd had some time to dissect her question and was now of clearer mind, and had something to ask. Would she be interested, now and in the future, if I began contacting her in hopes of rekindling a relationship. I got a pretty resounding "No" email response, which really threw me for a loop... but I went over those thoughts in a previous post, so I won't recycle them here.
Once I got that email response though, rather than simply respond back, I gave her a call to discuss. During that discussion, between her telling me things like she saw no future with us, that she was happier than she'd ever been etc. (where my mind kept screaming "Believe none of what she says and only half of what she does!") I DID lay some things out.
I let her know that no matter what it looked like, the fact that I'm NOT calling and texting and emailing every day IS my fight. It's probably the hardest thing i've ever had to do, but in order to respect her need for time and space for self-discovery (things she very specifically pointed out before she left) I felt it was only fair to give her the space that she asked for and demanded when moving hundreds of miles away.
A side note from my IC, he claims that by sending the email I sent, asking if she'd be interested in me contacting her in hopes of rekindling our relationship, and her responding no, that I'd actually freed myself. Now, any contact I decide to make can't be seen as an attempt to rekindle a relationship, as she clearly stated she wasn't interested in that. Instead, it's simply a friendly text, email or phone call. He did caution me that the frequency and content of each of those conversations needs to be VERY carefully controlled... Something I've done a great job of thus far.
As a matter of fact, the email which is completed but sitting in draft status right now, is the first me-initiated contact in over two weeks... A frequency I'd hope would be seen as comfortable... But we'll see!
