Interpretation of MWD and DR regarding infidelity

[bustingout]

I think you need to ask yourself, Why do you want to be with someone who -- for over a year and a half -- has demonstrated by way of an unrepentant long-term affair that he doesn't want to be with YOU?

Just some thoughts and maybe I need to see a different perspective...

Yes, he does not want to be with me. The me that I became in a time of crisis for me, a time of stress and tremendous change for us as a family.

That is who he saw and, still sees, when he left, and most likely still now.

Why? Because I love the man that I choose to start and raise a family with. The man that I moved to an unknown country for to start our marriage and family. To start a new life with. Because we have a family, two young kids. Because they have no voice to stand for their family, for their father that they deserve to have in their lives completely.

For them to be raised in a family that acts from love, not fear. for them not to have my experience of a broken family filled with anger and bitterness.

For me it's the chance. To see if we can get through this as a family, intact. A chance to work on this M and this R.

That's what I have been thinking. I don't want to be a doormat. I don't want to
traumatise my kids or live unhappily. I dont want H to live unhappily either. And I am finally understanding that detaching is the way, no pursuit, etc.

But it's standing for the chance to see if we can R. In the meantime, I will do what we are here to do because I do believe in it and I believe this is my best shot for all of us. Even if we don't R, this will be the best I can give myself, my children and my H, whether he is H or exH.

For the first time in almost two years I finally feel like I can become the woman infant to become, the mother I want to be and the partner I want to be in a R. I know there is still a way to go...but I guess this is...why.....