No Plans, No Expectations, No Timeline, I'm Okay!

[zig]

hi brit - just catching up - lots here to think about.

just wanted to say, that the best thing you could do is play it out - for yourself.

you've been triggered somehow here, and are reacting to it - and that's ok. but maybe you need to step back a little and see what is behind this for you?

is it really his "perceived control" in the dynamics bothering you or is it something else?

i think that if you could find out what the underlying thing is that is making you crazy about the way he is behaving, you will find a little peace in all of this.

accepting him the way he is right now - spinning - is very hard to do, and it's more of the same. you've moved on in your mind, but are frustrated that he hasn't??

also you are frustrated because he comes to see you when she's not around. why don't you just make plans to not be there - call him last minute and say sorry - going out to drinks, won't be home.

could you find a way to use your ACTIONS to give the message, rather than your words?

words are too weighted and emotional, when we are fired up, but actions - ooh they really get through big time. by slightly blowing him off, you would be saying without opening your mouth - i don't like it when you play with my schedule - i have more important things to do right now, let's see when and if i can fit you in

end of story no discussion.

if you have that kind of conversation with him - all it does is give him an opportunity to make it all screwy and nutty , because that's where he is in his head

so chill, step back and turn your mind to something else.

and seriously - about things like the mri - let it go - he can't come to you with that sort of stuff right now - it makes him too vulnerable in his own eyes. that sort of support came when he was with you, and to ask for that, even by simply telling you about it - could be there is shame on his part - i can't take that support from brit right now when i'm with someone else, sort of feeling.

so ((((((( ))))))))

and come sit by us on the blanket and have a shot - what's your vice today? vodka?

zig