Zingers. BklynMom suggested I note them here so I am. The funny thing is like a dream where things make sense and then you wake up and realize they didn't really, these zingers are like a fantasy where I think I say something insightful and clever and everything changes, like in the movies. But when I noted them down I could barely even verbalize them and they're not really that great.
For the purpose of journaling them and seeing what I can learn about myself, here are three from yesterday's commute.
"You had a whole YEAR to think about working on our marriage and you didn't do one single thing, so now I don't see any chance of reconciling."
"If a vague feeling of discomfort was all it took for you to want out of your marriage vows they must not have been very strong for you in the first place."
"You seem to get more fulfillment out of [friend] and [friend's 15yo son] than your own family and your own kids."
What this says about me: I wish he seemed to feel more guilty or more bad about what feels to me like abandonment of wife and son, abdication of responsibilities. I would like to say something that makes him realize that and feel bad. Instead these things, said with the bitterness and emphasized words that play in my head, would make him feel more justified and less connected to me. Angry. Annoyed. Less inclined rather than more inclined to go out of his way to help me cope with the financial and emotional loss of our marriage.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
