Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

I sent an email to my H informing him of the situation concerning this weekend and that I may not go because of not wanting to deal with any drama that may come up with the OW's H. I also said that because of him being there, it's pretty much guaranteed that even if the situation isn't discussed it'll be obvious, whether I go or not. I said that I haven't decided yet if I'm going. But that I want to see our friends.

I also said that I'm trying hard figure out what the least wrong decision is in any situation and that nothing I do or say is with the intent to hurt him and that I hope he can understand that one day.

Mistake or not, I guess we'll see.

I really hate this situation, meaning the situation my H and I are in, not so much the situation with our friends. If push comes to shove my H wins but until that happens I hope to maintain at least some of my friendships. I know that if we are able to reconcile that we can still be friends with the 2 women and their families. He's a good man that made a desperate mistake and is re-evaluating his life. He's still on the defensive so everything I do or say is held up to scrutiny. I guess I am too, I'm suspicious of everything.

How do I detach in a loving way in this situation?

****SIGH****