DB Bootcamp - dawnmarie and zig et al

[zig]

Sweet dawn - i'm going to call you that from now on

because all your dawns are going to start being sweeter one by one:)

already in your post tonight, i hear sooo much more positivity - and i'm so delighted for you.

I think that you have a really good pic in your mind of where your life is right now, and the little things that are good in it - like laughing and teasing with your kids. you are also aware what doesn't feel good, and in case you haven't realized this, i will say it here:

The first step to change is the awareness of where you are at.

so you are very aware - and so already on your way towards changing the things you would like to - about yourself and about your life, don't you think?


A part time job is first on my goal list..
This is will be my first goal...and others should trail in behind with a little luck and focus.


I really like that you were so specific here about your first goal.

so now we have started - yippee!!

so you've stated your goal. now i'd like you to break that down and add to it:

1. rewrite the goal so that it is in an "I will..." form
2. what actions can you take towards meeting your goal?
3. how will you feel while you are taking those actions. write that in a "I will be doing...." or I will feel..."

do you think that you can get a part-time job pretty easily, with difficulty - give me your reasons for what you feel your chances are.

meanwhile, i would like you to also think about 2 other very very small goals that are easily doable in the next week or so

my suggestion would be something like "I will go for a 30 min walk every morning/evening on my own"

Actually, I would LOVE to see you just casually put on your sneakers and wave bye to everyone cheerfully as you walk out the door -see you later, i'm off.

i suggest the walk, because it's not big commitment, it's only for your very own self (and if someone says they want to come, say no thanks this is my alone time), it's a great way to relax out of the sitch for a short while and get a break and you get some exercise.

you mentioned that you feel a bit silly watching all the others go out to gal. it's about time they watched you! it's the awareness again.

which book did you get?

when you wrote 'holding the fort down" i instantly thought - dawn has to read Dance of ANger - it's all about learning how not to do that, how to drop the rope on that - and in a very gentle way.

another small goal - something goofy, ok - you need a little pleasure in your life right now - "I will have my nails done once every two weeks" or something self indulgent like that.

could you and your mom or other female relative/friend go off to a spa or something like that - something really different? you mentioned clothes - how about your hair.

you discovered you love tank-tops - what else could you discover you like? your D18 sounds wonderful and very supportive by the way. don't be shy about asking her to help you more - D18's love doing that kind of stuff - i know i do when my mom asks me:) (you and her go to a spa!!)

so that second goal - i want it to be something that is geared towards you feeling really good about your body - because that leads to higher self-esteem, and confidence and once you get that moving - it just keeps getting better and better

so i'm excited for you sweet dawn - all the new discoveries and things that are going to happen for you - it's going to make life just a little simpler and easier:)

btw - i like what your C said. Are you seeing him regularly? I hope so. I suggest you don't view yourself as one who needs 'constant counseling". the view we take of ourselves defines us.

how about looking at it as - "I'm going through a tough spot and could use some support and help in finding my way through it. "

in case you haven't noticed, I am going to point out self-negativity every time i see it and we will work on getting your self-image to be very positive, so that you can feel great about yourself and your life, no matter what is going on

(((((( ))))))
zig

ps. from now on i don't want you to look for a reason to dress nice. i want you to dress nice everyday all day - it does wonders for our self-esteem. in high school my best friend would dress up for exams - she said it made her feel so confident that she did better than when she didn't and went in wearing sweatpants. there's a big 180 for you that's very easy:)