Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Unbidden, I guess that is an option. These women live many hours or plane rides away but we will all happen to be in the same area, within a couple of hour anyway this weekend. On my agreeing to meet up with them, one of the women purchased a plane ticket to come and would not have come otherwise. Since this all happened (the situation with my H and me) I haven't had the opportunity to see them. I suspect that either way (go or stay) H would be upset. All of that seems like a but statement (excuses) huh. I'm just confused, do I do what I would do if the relationship was over or do I act in his best interest?

Previous to this I think I spent time away from H, on purpose, on "girls weekends" maybe 2xs in our marriage.

Here's the thing, I want to go but I don't want drama. Drama seems unavoidable though. I'd like to discuss it with my H but I don't want to leave the decision in his hand, I also don't want him to feel as though I'm "pushing" by not going. Meaning, he would think, which would mostly be true, that I decided not to go so that I wouldn't hurt his feelings. The thing is that once he hears that the OW's H will be there he will be hurt, whether I go or not. Regardless of the reason I give.

Help.