Fish are friends. Not food.

[Underdog]

This is taken from an AA website. You just substitute FISH for alcohol or CRAZYMAKING and you get the idea. Which is why Bruce brought a fish friend to meeting--it was Step 5 night and he needed to make amends...

Step 1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.

This step can encourage the addict to be extremely honest with himself. With this step the addict can carefully review his own psychosocial history to learn how there has been a direct relationship between his life's failures, problems, and disappointments and the use of substances. Euphoric recall of using experiences can be put into perspective. The addict can come to realize that his desire to use is as strong as any other instinct, and that his urge to control the use is an obsession which always succumbs to the biological drive to use.

When this step is taken as such, the addict can begin to understand his defenses of denial and rationalization that underlie his obsession to use. It is at this point that the obsession to control is lessened, and the addict is free to grow psychologically and spiritually.

Step 2: Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

This step can be taken to be about openness to a new way of living. To understand the sanity for which he is looking, the addict may reflect on its opposite which is the insanity of past experience with substances. Many an addict knows the insanity of the disease. As for example going out drinking fully knowledgeable of the pain the hangover the next day will bring. For example taking the first hit of crack knowing that it is going to lead from a brief euphoria to a downward attempt to get that feeling back which might last three days and cost several hundred dollars and be followed by days of fatigue and depression. When this notion of insanity sinks in, the addicts is better prepared to search for sanity. He may look to the outside world as well as his inner self for help, this is the core of step 3.

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and lives over to the care of God as we understood him.

Note that only a decision need be made in this step, the actual belief in God or a higher power is not required. For many this can bring further relief from a self-centered view of the world, one may start to accept themselves as part of nature and a greater order.

Step 4: made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

This can be seen as a generalized version of step one. The addict can do an honest self evaluation of his life. He examines his resentments towards others. He evaluates what maladaptive defenses he has used in many life situations.

Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

This, just like psychotherapy, can give the addict relief and insight by talking about the problems in his life.

Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

Now that the addict better recognizes his personality defects, he may be more motivated to change. For example, the addict can prepare himself to give up his obsessions, avoidance behaviors, and self centeredness. To many this may seem a simple task, but for some addicts it is giving up the maladaptive coping mechanisms that they have used most of their lives.

Step 7: Humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings.

This step may be taken as a further renouncement of narcissism (self-centeredness) by using humility, one of the weakest attributes of the narcissist, to transcend the narcissism itself.

Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them.

Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

Steps 8 and 9 can be executed by putting new found selflessness into action, thereby taking responsibility for past actions.

Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

At this point the addict has achieved increased self honesty, insight, and selflessness. But addiction is a relapsing disease. The addict can regress back, and to avoid this he may continuously seek deeper self insight and understanding of how he is part of a greater scheme.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and practice these principles in all our affairs.

At this point the addict may have a somewhat more mature set of defenses. He has grown through a type of insight oriented therapy. Now he can continue to practice his new way of life, and he can share with others what he has learned. This is a form of altruism.