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And found some wonderful local stuff from the local pet store!

http://www.dandydogs.co.za/pKy00511/Mobiflex.aspx

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Sounds good, Mac.

I've got my cat at the vet myself today, for some minor (we hope) surgery to remove a cyst on his eyelid. They'll be biopsy'ing it and sending it off, and we're praying for a good outcome and that it's benign and not cancerous. After losing our dog to cancer last year, these vet visits are big triggers for me and my wife and our kids.

Starsky


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Starsky. I've got my hands clasped in prayer for you, w, kids and above all your cat.

Mac

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Thanks Mac, I really appreciate it! He is SUCH a little loverboy -- typical male orange-and-white lap cat. Definitely a lover, not a fighter, LOL. And he LOVES TO EAT, and he was NOT happy last nite and this morning because we couldn't feed him after 8pm last nite due to dr's orders. This morning, he was just sitting by the empty space where his dish usually is, pathetically meowing at me. :o(


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Ohhhh man. I couldn't not feed the poor cutie!
Yes I could because. Know it's for the best but it would hurt me.
Give him an extra cuddle from me. A special one.

Best of luck. Have the strongest of feelings that things will turn out just fine for him and his family.

Mac

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Guys gotta ask this……

What the heck do I say to the W (apart from what I'd HAVE said) when she comes to see what's going on?

How do I say the second "no" can't help you?

Looks like I've turned into a complete no-nonsense hard ass.

Wow - just realised that normal services have resumed!

Zig - I haven't forgotten your earlier post - still ruminating.

Mac

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I always liked "I'm sorry, that doesn't work for me."

You can always say "I've done some thinking, and I've decided that it would be best if we each did our own (thus-and-such). We both need to start doing what's in our own best interests, considering."

Or something similar.

If she says "What are you saying, you can't do a simple thing like buy my cigarettes for me?!" say "Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think it would be best."

Value-neutral statements like "would be best" or "would be wise" or "probably best that we each", etc.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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by the way, (and hat-tip to Gucci on this, from whom I stole it), the whole "I have decided that _______ " formulation is a GREAT one. It shows leadership; resolve; strength. That you are now operating on your rational thought, and no longer on your feelings . . . because you DECIDED something, not FELT something.

Something to start using in your repertoire.


M57 W 57; D30 D28 S24 S20 GD7 GD2 GD1 GD5m GD1m
BD 5/07; W's affair 5/07-8/07

At the end of every hard-earned day, people gotta find some reason to believe. (Bruce Springsteen)
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Zig here you go with a first draft. Don't laugh cos this is actually quite hard.


Part 1 - goals

I will stop mind reading w and "friend". Thanks zig for supplying this one.
I will stop looking off into the future and seeing gloom!
I will pray every night for my friends, for me and for my W
I will forgive those that seemed determined to wreck everything
I will hit my off-switch when the W tries to push my buttons
I will concentrate on feeling good about myself
I will continue to GAL

Part 2 - the expected results:

I will see the W and "friend" be amazed that I'm not falling into their world. I will see myself smiling and laughing for just about any reason (don't send me to the funny farm) when appropriate ;-). I'll feel better having shed my bad feeling about others because that really doesn't matter and makes no difference one way or any other. I'll have a tool to use for future use (just in case!). And the final two are very self evident and something that everyone has a right to!

Mac

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Starsky. Thanks so much. Now I'm ready.

Mac

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