Today's thoughts (while I wait for more helpful advice).
The words of my IC keep running through my mind "Nothing Needs To Be Done"... There are days like today where my mind starts spinning and I start trying to brainstorm what I need to do to help bring us closer together...
To digress: We haven't talked on the phone for a week, which isn't TOO unusual, as she'll normally call about once a week. She'll send me a text every few days, normally asking about work-related stuff or fantasy football, and not getting into anything personal... except she'll ask me to give our dog a kiss for her and tells me we'll "Catch up soon"
Then my mind will race a bit, wondering when "Soon" is, what I should talk about when she calls, how to achieve a baby-step goal like getting her to laugh... And I hear "Nothing Needs To Be Done" in my head.
I know the above thoughts aren't good ones to have. I know I need to keep working on Detaching so that I can keep working on myself . I KNOW that nothing I can say or do will change her mind or cause her to act differently. I know I need to "Drop the Rope" and Detach with Love. I just need some help doing that some days.
As you can read above, I'm working hard on GAL, hitting the gym almost every day, trying to hang out with friends as often as possible, trying new things etc. But she's always on my mind. I know this is "normal" but some days it's just hard to keep going along this path. A part of my brain SCREAMS that I could be doing SOMETHING to bring us closer together.
But "Nothing Needs To Be Done" rings through my head, and I'm able to at least not ACT on my thoughts. I guess that's a good step! I'm still not initiating most contact, I'm not pursuing, Not bringing up R talks... just being cordial and friendly when we do talk.
With the positive way our conversations have gone lately and the random email she sent a couple weeks back about hearing the song on the radio that reminded her of us (and made her cry tears of sadness and happiness) I decided to do a little experiment in our communications. While I still keep them very light, I'm trying to flirt just a little bit. Up to this point, she hasn't flirted back at all, but she hasn't pulled away either. I'm not sure if I should keep it up or drop it though. And they're not the over-the-top flirts that I used to do when we were together... just little things in text responses like "Any office would be lucky to have you" and an occasional XOXO (which, a couple weeks ago she would always end conversations with, but hasn't in a while).
So do I keep that up, or is that pursuing? I've read so many different opinions on this board about that... some saying that if communications are open and light, flirting can be a nice thing (even though OM is still in the picture) and some saying that it's pursuing behavior.
