It's tough being in limbo. I do not want the D, and don't want to file myself. I do know I have rights. Here in MI, she can move up to 100 miles away if it is a practical move, ei to be closer to her work. I feel fortunate to this point for her willingness to stay near enough to me to allow regular interaction with my kids. The last school my daughter attended was 45 miles away, so in reality, her decision to stay here is very considerate. If she wanted to relocate back to where we used to live, near her work. There is not much I can do about it. Only if she seeks to move further than 100 miles away does she need a judges permission.
I would like to share 7+7, and if we go to mediation before filing, that will be my position. It's just that right now I have nothing enforceable, I don't know where I'm going to live next month yet, and school is only 3 weeks away. I am going to consult with an attorney this week, but until she files or moves forward with mediation. I'm kind of limited to filing myself without an attorney (money is an issue for me). If I do that, I believe she will take it as a threat and abandon the thought of mediation, and tell me we will litigate. She has the comfort of family wealth to fall back on, where she knows I do not. She would file deposition after deposition until I financially could not fight her anymore. I know this because she has mentioned doing so. I feel like my hands are somewhat tied, because I do still hope if D is inevitable, that we could at least decide what's best for our D's, rather than having a judge decide it.
I don't know why so many LBS seem to just believe anything a WAS tells them re: the legalities/realities of a Sep or a D. Just stop that. She abandoned the marital home and is taking the kids. Seek legal advice, and if necessary, a sep agreement to protect your relationship with your kids.
