Emotional affair

[ces67]

That had to be an incredibly hard call to listen to. The reality of the matter is you don't know who to believe. It could be true and the woman trying to help or it could be a lie trying to free up your husband....

And because you don't really know, all you can do is focus on yourself and who you want to be. Right now, his actions and his choices are a distraction to you focusing on how to build a better life for yourself.

Even if the woman is telling the truth, her actions fall into the category of what the DR book describes as people wanting to end your pain but not helping you deal with life.

Wanting to give up is a very normal feeling. And it's your choice on when you are "done". Please remember, this is always a long process. Must of us are here becuase we (both us and our WAS) have continued practices and habits that we've had our whole life. The norm is that these habits have impacted our Ms and we have to go through a process to unlearn the negative habits, find new and more productive habits and then learn the habits as a better way to live life. This will take time and you can only choose this for yourself.

My IC once gave me this example and it helped frame my view of my WAW. He mentioned that when we get hit on the nose, its very painful, makes our eyes water and our typical reaction is to find the source of the pain and strike back...

Now, imagine that the person who hit you is a drowning victim and your trying to help them...

Your H is drowning in his own misery right now and he can't see the surface of the water to breath. The bad part is, you can't really save him. He has to make his own choices.

But what you can do is continue to strengthen yourself emotionally, spiritually, mentally & physically. Focus on yourself and it will provide you the resources you need to deal with all that's going on. It can all be so overwhelming when our "tanks are empty".

Work on setting down his issues. Hope you can keep your focus today and feel better.