I've got some things Im concerned about. Im not so sure what's the best way to handle them.
I see things changing between the girls an their father (XH). We now have a "distancer and pursuer" dance going on between all three of them. It's the girls that are distancing, and XH that is pursuing.
I see my XH doing everything possible he can to keep the girls interest peaked in him. But I can also see everything that he's doing to push them away. When the girls have distanced themselves from him in the past, he chose to blame me for it all. I do not feel that I can talk to him about this at all with him.
I guess this is where I feel very frustrated because I know I really can't do anything to make this better. All I know to do is to teach my girls to communicate as effectively as they can so they have that skill in life and to use that with their father. However it seems their father is not receptive to it and becomes defensive even with his own children when they start to voice their feelings if it opposes his.
I see XH flip flopping with the kids. He says rude and insulting things to the girls about their pets, their home here with me, or their likes and dislikes, then turns right around and bombards them with texts of fluffy little animal pictures, cute little jokes, and talking about whatever interesting news is going on. The girls are annoyed by this. D12 says she doesn't even want to respond or know how to respond to all this random "texting" he does with her. D9 always says "im tired of texting Dad".
I've made the choice to stay out of their relationship. But at the same time its very hard to stand back and see what's going on knowing that if it keeps up this way, the likely hood of any good relationship between the girls and their dad is very slim.
But I guess the reality is, this is between him and his daughters. I guess Im trying to be emotionally responsible for everyone's happiness again.
