Need help with detaching and hoping to reconcile.

[lillystillinlove]

Thanks, I was happy with how I handled it too.

LA, I see what you are saying, don't give him a solution let him find it himself. I'd probably be to obvious and he'd either laugh or be insulted. I'm not sure if I agree with him covering something up. Maybe but his mind is quick and sharp. He is funny and always has been, since way before i knew him. Sure he has family history stuff but everybody does. I guess that is for him to work out.

MrBond, I'm going to work on that. I want to stop being so defensive around him. I feel like a cat in a room full of dogs. I have been paying attention and I noted that if he thinks that I'm getting upset during a conversation because he seems to be giving me a "my way is better" attitude, he will back up and say I not saying you have to do it that way, I'm just asking why you do it the way you do it. So, I've been better at not backing down so easily and explaining why I do something a certain way. Now I just need to laugh more. I can so easily get flustered and defensive. A simple conversation about logistics with H so our S can get to TKD class and homework, dinner, etc... because I have an appointment this evening and damned if I don't get tongue-tied and confused.

On a better note, I met with my IC today. It was positive I felt good when I left. I'm trying hard, and most times successful, to detach. She is very supportive and totally believes the GAL thing although that's not the term she uses. Contact from me is made for "business" only via email or text. If it starts a little back and forth so be it. I don't ask questions about his "life". Now I have to work on the times when I actually hear his voice. I also have to work on being happier when I see him, not because I see him, but so the tension is less.

We don't have another MC session until next week due to schedules.

I'm feeling good today, I'll be starting painting classes again this month. I'll have all the paperwork I need to get in to volunteer at my S's new school tomorrow. I'm going out of town this weekend to see a few friends (this is a sensitive subject, I'll explain below, it leads to a question). I picked up new running shoes this weekend and will start trying to run again (hopefully I won't get shin splints again), C25K here I come, again. Purchased 10 yoga class pass, for a new local studio opened by a friend of our. Now I just have to get everything into the schedule.

Now for the friend thing. The people I am seeing this weekend are mutual (very close) friends of us and the other couple involved in this drama. My H is not sure what they know. He know that by connecting the dots it's pretty obvious, he really doesn't want me discussing our business with our friends (this is what lead him to the EA+ BTW), he always been that way. So although I know they know everything I haven't told him that and do not intend to. He will have to work that out on his own and figure out how his relationship with them will work out. They are actually more forgiving of my H than the OW. So, here's the situation this coming weekend. The OW's H will be there too (not sure for how long). I'm nervous, I really don't want to get into a discussion about all of this, I'm really ready to stop talking to friends about it, to just be "normal". So how do I handle that? I mean I know what I intend to do but I don't want to be rude. Also, what do I say to my H? Do I tell him the OW's H will be there? Do I take the chance of him finding out on his own and feeling betrayed? Has anyone been in a situation like this? My heart races whenever I think about this. I want to go but I'm not sure it is the right thing to do.

Can't wait to get this advice, if you have questions I'll answer.