Forward-working on the calm and detached. Tougher some days than others. Yoga helps as does long sessions, sometimes hours of working out. Once he returns to the university I will not see him again so if I get through this next 9 days without losing my cool, I am home free.
Yes, I am asking myself if this is worth it. Right now it is just not, not while he is in Replay, blowing up everything in his path and acting so indecisive and weak (I don't know how I feel about you blah blah blah). But then when he was here after the university for a few days, I really enjoyed him and he was much more like himself. So a tiny ray of hope crept in that he would return to a semblance of normal although my brain was kicking my heart around for thinking that way. Luckily the brain won and I walked away without crying or being upset in front of him. Then the manic nonsense of the week started and the hope was quickly stomped on. So return to anger, and could not talk to him for a week. And today the jealous controlling man stuck his head out and baited me, but when I did not take the bait, he left and child appeared. He seems to be distancing himself since we were so close those days he was here, to perhaps see if I will chase him. I did not so sulky child reappeared and went off in a huff. All I could think of at the time was, this is so funny-hope he enjoyed that because I just do not care.
Speaking of idiocy-what is his problem with my having friends-how is that a sin? He has complained about that since we split up-how I have friends and he is a misanthrope-sure a misanthrope who is sleeping with a child and has 70+ FB friends-although only the students comment anymore, and few of those, can't stand to be alone for even a few days,
