B, I think you are interpreting the email. I don't think he's looking for excuses not see his daughter. He's trying to make plans and if you are planning to go out of town, he would then plan something else not only for himself, but for your daughter as well.
Maybe you need to ask him if he wants to be involved in planning something for you daughter's birthday and see what his response is...just my two cents.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
