PF - this is the first time you have mentioned that you have two other kids. How old are they? How are they dealing with all this?

Also - reread what you posted:
Quote:
That I helped him write his books and articles even when it was detrimental to my work/health/education? That I was so supportive of his accomplishments/career that I understood when he did not come home when I had heart surgery? That I put up with his sister saying horrible things about me just to make his relationship with her easier? That I pray each day that God give me the pain that is too much for him to bear, and to please help him? You see the truth is that I love this man so very much and I am so scared for him, not for me. So sometimes I get frustrated/scared/angry when he seems just dead inside, when he speaks of crazy things and ending it all, about how he feels as though he is walking around in a fog, and does not care about anything, or see any point in continuing, when he just continuously tears me down with comments about my low IQ, my inability to think, my stupidity, my being old, my being weak, my being irresponsible, my having friends who are trash, my attracting men who are bas****s, my being a B, C**t, Wh**e, my not being a scholar of equal calibur, my being so weak I let others hurt me, my crying too easily, my being unhealthy and fat-at 135, my turning my back on him, my not being faithful to him etc.


Can't you see how completely abusive he was, and how codependent you are? This was psychological abuse. You need to get help with your issues, that you would p[ut up with this. I recommend reading an Al-Anon book called THe Courage to CHange, I think it would be helpful to you in this situation.

Also - just noticed your comment about his rapidly graying hair. This can happen in B12 deficiency (which causes paranoia and dementia) or in autoimmune thyroid disease (more common in families with bipolar disorder, for reasons that aren't entirely clear). I know you're afraid to suggest medical care but if you can, he should be tested for these things.

Also - if the university is telling you that they think he's so dangerous that they're afraid to hire you, TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.