I am realizing that the "wall" you mentioned between my W and me is a bigger deal than what I realized. I've been working through my feelings and managing them but my W and I are really not talking about our issues still. I think you hit the nail on the head.
We are more comfortable around each other. We talk and deal with the daily activities, we have physical contact, but underneath, all the issues are still there and have not been dealt with. I think that's why I was really wanting to get started on our MC. I saw it as the next step of progress.
As far as Bug's question, I mentioned above that W was lonely and the OM was a good listener. From there, the attraction entered in and made it a bit more exciting for them both. This also feeds into my frustration that we aren't really talking about how to heal. I have focused on listening when she does talk and am more aware to validate and acknowledge what she is saying. I think that has helped to increase our general conversations. We just haven't made the leap to the weighty topics. Of course, its not my timeline and I have to remember that. Its just that after 2 years, I'm wearing out.
OK, a goal. - Increase our conversations. I sent W a txt earlier (we tend to communicate pretty well this way). I suggested we set one night a week aside to sit and talk after the kids go to bed. no specific topics, just a chance to connect. That was over an hour ago and no response so far.
Another goal is to get back to my support activities. That means starting up my Friday morning coffee meetings with my buddies and I called my IC to talk this Wednesday.
Gotta run to a meeting. more later.
Me:45, W:45 S:16 D:13 M:22, T:25 Bomb: July 2010 Putting finances in order for "D" Continue to live in same home-separate rooms
