Allow me to chime in, although I'm not nearly as seasoned at advice giving as Accuary, Carnac, and Arsene!
I brought this type of situation up (How hard it is to have a "light" conversation with W in times like these, and how I always feel down afterwords, no matter how "good" I think I did) and he told me something that really hit a chord:
First, as you're so acutely aware of the "situation" you're in, and you're actively working so hard on yourself (hence the future of the relationship) It's natural you'll be a bit "on edge" during any conversation. You're trying so hard to be careful, to apply the lessons you're learning, to "not screw up", etc. Then, you're analyzing the convo over and over again, and if you're anything like me, you're dissecting it a bit too much. All these things make it hard to have a "light" conversation, as your brain is going a million miles a minute! I guess in my situation, since WAW is a couple hundred miles away and our interactions are purely over the phone, it's a little easier for me to write out some goals or notes to refer to when I feel like I'm slipping... I literally never thought I'd find an ADVANTAGE to my W being hundreds of miles away! Thanks for that!
And I hope I'm not projecting here, but once these light conversations are over, and I feel i've done a MOSTLY good job, I always find myself very sad for the next day or so...
IC made another good point here by letting me know that it's these light conversations (which we look forward to) that not only remind you of "when things were good" but also make you acutely aware of our SO's absence in our lives. Remember, as I must constantly remind myself, that this is normal, natural, and a part of the process. Here's to hoping each of us can lean on each other, build on these "light" conversations, and keep progressing forward!
