Interpretation of MWD and DR regarding infidelity

[Denver_2010]

Wow... I actually agree with Starsky on this 100%. As long as OM is a part of WAW's life, LBH should not be an active part. That's not to say that you necessarily have to be completely dark, but not an active part of their life. IMO of course.

But yet, I'm pretty sure this is what MWD teaches. At least up until the LRT and perhaps up until the after-the-LRT stage.

My interpretation is that this is what she teaches in the LRT. But personally, I think that you should be in LRT if your S is in an active A.

My interpretation of the after LRT stage, is basically ultimatum time. And you have to be ready to accept the end of your M.

Not sure if it's MWD teaching or it's just what the forum has morphed into over the years, but I'm pretty sure even the DB coaches encourage "flirting" and other forms of pursuit even with the actively-wayward. It's fine if we disagree on that; I'm just looking to get a straight answer, since this thread was started and we're all discussing this aspect right now.


Starsky

I could be wrong Starsky, but I think that MWD encourages this in the chapter on infidelity in DR prior to LRT. I'd have to go back and look at the chapter.

Either way though, I simply could not do it as long as WAS had an OP as active part of his or her life.

For me, I just had to remove myself from my W's life during those periods of time.

My mistake was always letting her back into my life too easily when she believed that she was ready to rid herself of OM, when she clearly had not completely resolved those feelings.