second time newcomer, back for more

[NASCARDaddy]

So let's assume for a minute, and this is a big assumption, and a stretch, that my my wife likes me the way I am; she just doesn't want to be tied down in a marriage.

Am I supposed to just accept that and move on ?

Assuming (and I'm sure that you know what happens when you assume) that to be the case then yes you have to accept that and move on. If that is how your wife feels then that is out of your hands. It is something that you can't control or change. However, moving on doesn't mean giving up.

Is it selfish of me to not sign them if I feel like we can save our marriage ? Am I being naive ?

That is a tough question to answer. However the best answer is the standard one that professors give in law school; it depends. There are a lot of factors that go into answering a question like this and I don't (and maybe you don't) have all the information to give a simple answer.

Maybe this little exercise will help. I am going to ask you three questions and you need to answer them honestly and objectively. You don't have to share your answers here, but you do need to answer them.

1) What are the qualities that made your marriage work? What were the things that made you fall in love with your W and stay in love with her?

2) What are some of the problems in your relationship? What things did you not like about being married to your W?

3) Why do you want to save your marriage?

Number three is the most important and perhaps the hardest one for people to answer objectively. Instead we tell ourselves things like "I can't live without her," or "she was my whole life," or "I'll never find anyone else who wants to be with me," or even "she was the best thing that ever happened to me." Although in my case that last one is close to an objective statement. However, it is important to stay objective because the truth is that you will survive and you will find someone new if it comes to that.

So to answer your second set of questions you need to answer the three questions I posed to you and then think about your answers. I bet that you can answer the questions about selfishness and naivety on your own after that.