W just call me to let me know she is out. She is taking her stuff of the house.
She mentioned the conversation we had in the morning and that she has been thinking about all day. She said she does not want to use me any more and that she does not wants me to feel I am being used. She said that because today in the morning I said to her that I felt I was being used.
Right now I replied that it was her decision and that I would respect that. I said that I would like for us to calm down and forget about today in the morning and for us to continue working. She again said, she did not wanted me to feel I was being used.
I also posted,
What now? I feel like taking her on her word and also walk out..
Honestly, no I do not want to take on her word, I am here to regain my trust, my self and my family.. Eric has told me ĻIt ainīt over, till is overĻ.. It is not over..
Please, keep on helping me understand what else can I do..
For the mean time, I am out of the house. I came to my Momīs place because I do not want to be alone and go over and over my W. I am also doing this to give her the space she needs.
I love my W and will fight for a new future with her..
Today has been real hard to cope with. I miss my W very much, I feel like calling her just to hear her voice. I am not going to do it, I know it will not do any good.
I been reading DR again, and it feels good that I am here to fight for the person I love. It is just one of those days that I canīt stop thinking about her. I have been fighting this feeling quite often, when I start to think about her, I go and change my thinking, but her image keeps appearing.
I been thinking on why she can not see all the hurt that we both are going thru. Friday in the morning when we were talking about our feelings we both cried. I know she is hurting as much as I am. I feel tempted to have her read DR and see for her self what we both are going thru. I know this is a DB big NO, and I am not going to do it. I believe it would be easier for the both of us to work in our R. Like I said it is just my belief..
I have read so many succesful stories in which things work out for the better and they make it as a couple again. I feel reasured that I can do that too, but I also feel afraid we wonīt be on these stories. I know succesful stories can also be of no reconsiliation, and that success will be in my own person. I do understand that and that I will be ok either way. I just prefer my success is when my W and I are happy together again working on our relationship and family..
I have been praying to my Lord God for this to happen..
Here again for the worst. All weekend I did not have any contact with W. She called me on Sunday and I did not answer, but she left a voice mail that I needed to cut all the bills. She called later and again I did not answer, this time she said for me to call her.
Today in the morning I received a text message that I needed to pick up the dogs. I went home to see what was going on and found out that she has sold the tv's and some of the furniture. She had an argument with her older son (24 yrs). He said that her mom was demandign 30 dlls from him, and when he said no, she got angry and started calling people to sell the furniture. By talking to her son and his wife, I found out that my W has created a big lie about everything that she is doing. About 2 or 3 weeks ago she had a bruseid eye, and I asked her what happened to her, she said she did not know,but that she only felt something bugging her eye. She later said that she hit her self with one of the plates at the restaurant she was working. This conversation and the one when this SOB punched on the stomach came to the conversation, and my stepson's wife told me that my W talked to her about the bruised eye and also told her that she hit her self with a plate. Later when the SOB punched for the second time, my W told her that the bruised eye was also because he hit her. I am now believing that my W is also doing drugs, OM does. One of the times my W asked me for 25 dlls because my stepson's wife was going to do groceries, I asked her about it ans she told me that she did not recieved any money from my W. Also, I bought my W a necklace for the wedding we attended days before and stepson's wife told me that my W had pawned the necklace, and that she asked her for money to get it back before I got home. They both told me that my W has been asking them for money constantly. I believe the SOB convinced my W to do drugs. She has been drinking often when prior to us braking up she did not. She believes that my 13 yrs old boy is old enough to take care of himself, and when anybody mentions that she is wrong and that he still needs her, she gets all defensive and angry.
Please guys, any advice would be really helpfull..
One other thing, she is being calling but I have not answered her calls. The last message she left, she sound pretty upset but just said "answer your phone". What do you guys recommend, do I answer to see what she wants or do I wait?
If your wife is using, and using the family's funds for drugs and neglecting S13, then I would gather SOLID evidence and I would see a "men's rights" family law attorney pronto, and move for temporary full custody of my kid(s).
Your wife is obviously under the influence of two VERY strong addictions -- her affair, and drugs. Someone in this state cannot be assumed to do the right things for themselves, or even their own children. Add to that (as if that formula isn't potent enough already), the physical abuse stuff??? WARNING, WILL ROBINSON!!!
Here again for the worst. All weekend I did not have any contact with W. She called me on Sunday and I did not answer, but she left a voice mail that I needed to cut all the bills. She called later and again I did not answer, this time she said for me to call her.
Today in the morning I received a text message that I needed to pick up the dogs. I went home to see what was going on and found out that she has sold the tv's and some of the furniture. She had an argument with her older son (24 yrs). He said that her mom was demandign 30 dlls from him, and when he said no, she got angry and started calling people to sell the furniture. By talking to her son and his wife, I found out that my W has created a big lie about everything that she is doing. About 2 or 3 weeks ago she had a bruseid eye, and I asked her what happened to her, she said she did not know,but that she only felt something bugging her eye. She later said that she hit her self with one of the plates at the restaurant she was working. This conversation and the one when this SOB punched on the stomach came to the conversation, and my stepson's wife told me that my W talked to her about the bruised eye and also told her that she hit her self with a plate. Later when the SOB punched for the second time, my W told her that the bruised eye was also because he hit her. I am now believing that my W is also doing drugs, OM does. One of the times my W asked me for 25 dlls because my stepson's wife was going to do groceries, I asked her about it ans she told me that she did not recieved any money from my W. Also, I bought my W a necklace for the wedding we attended days before and stepson's wife told me that my W had pawned the necklace, and that she asked her for money to get it back before I got home. They both told me that my W has been asking them for money constantly. I believe the SOB convinced my W to do drugs. She has been drinking often when prior to us braking up she did not. She believes that my 13 yrs old boy is old enough to take care of himself, and when anybody mentions that she is wrong and that he still needs her, she gets all defensive and angry.
Please guys, any advice would be really helpfull..
When there is physical violence, you call the police, you press charges and you get a restraining order. OM doesn't have to convince W to do drugs, if he was doing them, she may start to do them over time as well, without being urged. Obviously she became interested with things on his side of the tracks. Sometimes its a phase people go thru, physical violence in a case like yours may be enough to wake her up.
If your wife is using, and using the family's funds for drugs and neglecting S13, then I would gather SOLID evidence and I would see a "men's rights" family law attorney pronto, and move for temporary full custody of my kid(s).
Your wife is obviously under the influence of two VERY strong addictions -- her affair, and drugs. Someone in this state cannot be assumed to do the right things for themselves, or even their own children. Add to that (as if that formula isn't potent enough already), the physical abuse stuff??? WARNING, WILL ROBINSON!!!
PROTECT YOURSELF . . . and your son.
Starsky
It's powerful forces in play here, and having been on both sides of it I would take Starsky309's warning very seriously. These are powerful forces which grow stronger over time as they gain foothold in your W's mind.
I didn't know that, but you may be able to establish parental rights if there is drug abuse going on. It's worth consulting with a good family law attorney about.
