WHG: And so we file...

[workinghardguy]

Been awhile... I keep meaning to post updates and get back here but life has been very busy. It also still hurts a lot, though its manageable, and for whatever reason coming here dredges all that up again.

Just got back from a weekend with all the kids. Took all three to Chicago for the weekend to see the sites, we had an awesome time. I really miss SS and SD; the weekend reminded me just how much. But it was great to spend so much time with the uninterrupted.

W originally had to work the weekend and I volunteered to take them. Turns out mid-week she learned someone had taken her shift and she had the weekend off. At first I was irritated that she never mentioned that, but I let it go... I still would have wanted to take all the kids so it didn't really matter one way or the other.

Things remain largely unchanged. We see each other sporadically and only as it involves the kids. She drops them off or I drop them off. No change from her... no indications, nothing unless you count sending leftovers over when she drops the kids off.

I don't communicate with her, email, or anything unless it's "business" related.

Maybe that's why I don't post many updates... nothing really to update.

I keep trying to work on me and just be who I am. The local meetup group is functioning again which is helpful. Church will start up more regularly next month which will be good too.

I can't say I'm bad off, but can't say I'm very happy either. Most days pretty happy. More happy when I have my S or the kids. There are days I still miss her. There are more days I miss having a partner and someone you have that connection with. But I still get fatigued at the idea of dating.

I'm coming around to the idea she's never coming back. It's hard to admit, even after you've admitted it to yourself and said it to yourself a hundred times. I feel really bad for my S, he so wants his family back. But you make best with what you have and play the hand your dealt.