Starsky, do you think your stance had any impact to your wife finding her way back or if she went thorugh the transition and woke up herself?
I can only go by what she said, once the fog cleared. She said that there were two specific things that played the greatest role in her desire to end her affair and return to the marriage: the disapproval of her parents and our adult daughters (esp. D-then-18), and the loss of me as her best friend.
Both of those were a direct result of specific things that I did, that were genuine to me and my own integrity and beliefs, and both of which were attempts to shorten the duration of her affair.
Again, I'm not even sure I believe in "MLC" as many define it here, or if my wife went thru some version of it -- just that many that DO believe in it, believe that she did. My decisions, strategy and tactics was based more on my overall mantras of "I will not live in an open marriage," and
"I will no longer operate from a standpoint of 'If I do X, will my wife get angry? How will her anger make me feel?' and instead from a standpoint of 'What is THE RIGHT THING TO DO in this situation? What is the thing that God Himself would have me do, if He were standing here in front of me?' "
