well - vera - i knew that would come - so i'll ask - if she'd written medicine or groceries in place of smokes, would starsky have asked that question?
if he still would have, then i'm assuming he's recommending mac NOT giving her even 1 rand.
if he wouldn't have, then targeting the smokes is a riling comment in my book - the same as if she'd asked for money to buy beer or something that is not necessary. it's judgmental to use that line of reasoning, and if our support to each other is based on being judgmental, then it seems a bit misguided to me.
if mac gives her X rand per week, he doesn't get to say that she can use it for needs or wants, he just gives it, right?
If that's the arrangement, yes, But I ALWAYS counsel someone to make their support agreement based ONLY on the family's basic needs. Each spouse -- wayward/walkaway and left-behind -- should properly be responsible for their own WANTS.
I don't care of it's cigarettes, booze, poker or bowling league. This advice is consistent with what I've always advised, and with what I did with my own sitch.
