well - vera - i knew that would come - so i'll ask - if she'd written medicine or groceries in place of smokes, would starsky have asked that question?

if he still would have, then i'm assuming he's recommending mac NOT giving her even 1 rand.

if he wouldn't have, then targeting the smokes is a riling comment in my book - the same as if she'd asked for money to buy beer or something that is not necessary. it's judgmental to use that line of reasoning, and if our support to each other is based on being judgmental, then it seems a bit misguided to me.

if mac gives her X rand per week, he doesn't get to say that she can use it for needs or wants, he just gives it, right?

if he expects accountability for every rand she spends and what she spends it on - that's some serious control there isn't it?

we spend a lot of time encouraging each other to accept that we do not and cannot control our WAS's and their decisions. I think this comes under that. He does not have to agree to give her money for smokes - no not at all - that's not what i'm saying, but in the bigger pic, is that the first question he should be asked?


the point isn't what she spends it on, the point is what is their agreement

it's beside the point what she wants the money for, and we could start arguing here, but do any of us KNOW for sure what their agreement was?

zig

me 46 H 38
M10yrs T 11
S10
BD ow 8/11
h filed 9/25/12


"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"