from what you wrote - the action of pushing down your resentment and anger and trying to get rid of it that way is what is holding you back.
you have to bring it out into the light of day and face it head on!
that's fighting the darkness - exposing your own demons and finding out what makes you fearful of them
i think your darkness is the wall between you and your wife - it stops you from being open and receptive and you possibly miss so much of what she may be giving in HER way,
our perspective of what the other is doing or saying is so influenced by what the picture of them is in our mind's eye.
your darkness, more than your emotions, is about the picture you have in your mind about where your wife is at and where you are at. you can change that.
change that, and you will change and the sitch will change
labug asked you a brilliant question - sit down and answer it, ok?
and to help you switch your focus (you are waaaay to focused on what your sitch IS, rather than what you would like it to be and how you can achieve that), can i invite you to drag your a$$ over to the goal setting thread and help you get started?
doing something different here - it's in YOUR control and setting some specific achievable short term goals may rest your mind a bit from the big picture
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
