getting him riled up further with comments like that, when he's in the state he's in, is not going to help him
. . .
This is where I'll respectfully DISAGREE with you, Zig. The fact that Mac is still "in the state he's in," after THREE YEARS of being at this, to me is the core issue. Until Mac can get himself into a non-reactionary place of detachment towards his wife, he's not going to be able to effectly apply ANY of the suggestions we're all giving him, consistently.
I do try to be sensitive to someone's emotional state when they're freshly bombed. After about 60 days, I rapidly lose my sympathy and my patience, and after three years I would rather try to 2x4 and exhort someone to get their head out of their ass, then to coddle them.
