14 Months Secret Separation: talking mediation

[labug]

Ad, I'm embarrassed to say that my H would probably describe the me of 2 years ago much the same way.

The good news is it can be changed, the bad news is the person has to recognize it, search their soul and work really hard. It is not an easy process.

I've said to him that I wished he had loved me enough to sit me down and say: "Bug, I love you but something is wrong. You do x, y, z and it's driving me and the boys away." Would that have worked, don't know. He did tell me on a few occasions that I was too critical and unhappy and that he couldn't do anything right. At that time I of course thought he was the reason for all my problems.

What did work-S(19) invited me to a session with his psychologist and said pretty much what I said up there^. And then a few months later, BD#2.

He won't change until the pain of continuing in this way is greater than the pain of changing.