Today he told me he got an apartment and would start sleeping there this week. I said "great!" when he told me this. A few hours later and I haven't even felt a drop of sadness over that.
What meaning does the bolded part above have, for you?
Great was just the first thing that popped out of my mouth. It definitely threw him off. I think the latter part indicated that, at least for one day, I wasn't on the roller coaster.
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He wanted to talk tonight and I said that didn't work for me.
Why did it not work, for you? What was your intention, when you told him it didn't work? ie. What explanation would you have given him that was honest and truthful?
it was saturday and I didn't want to ruin what had been an enjoyable and relaxing day by talking finances.
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I went out for a little bit and he cornered me when i got back saying that he wanted to talk bc I don't answer his phone calls and am slow to respond to emails if I do at all.
Why do you not answer his phone calls? Why are you slow to respond to emails? Have you NOT responded to emails? Why?
He only calls me about D-related things. I am slow with emails because I have been keeping dim for months now. I used to not respond to emails that he sent after BD such as newsletter forwards or links to tshirts he thinks are funny. If he leaves me a voicemail or text on a matter that is urgent, I respond appropriately. Otherwise, it's not a priority for me like it used to be.
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I reiterated that I wasn't going to rush a major decision just bc he felt pressure now that he's signed a lease.
You explain that you WON'T rush a decision? That is good, one should do due diligence. What I found interesting is that rather than indicating due diligence, your mention it's because of pressure from your H. Are you resisting what you feel as pressure from your H or is there some other productive, positive reason for holding off? ie. What POSITIVE work towards making this major decision, are you doing?
I didn't post a complete recap of this here like I did on my other thread. My first response (and second and third...) was that I need to know financially where I will stand as of the D before I can make an informed decision on the house. I mentioned the not responding bc of his pressure only after repeatedly starting that point. I am resisting his pressure only to the extent that my needs (full financial settlement disclosure and agreement) have not yet been met. I have had my financial info ready for at least a month. I am saving every penny and betting my ducks in a row for a refi, including liking into loans from my retirement acct and family. He has gone on all kinds of leisure trips and vacations this summer and did not start gathering his info until this Saturday. Now he's realizing he has to request archived statements etc and that takes additional time.
hope that helps to clarify how it went down a little better.
