do you not have an agreement with your w in place yet about money?
What have you been doing about this the past few months. Have you been giving her cash every week already, or has it been that while she's at home you've covered the bills and she hasn't needed any
when you answer, please be really clear and specific, okay. because otherwise it's impossible to get an accurate picture and be able to help you
in the past, when things like this happened with my h, I would freak out - seriously for a couple of days - what's the right thing to do, if i don't do exactly the right thing, i'll lose h. that's just the mindset we're in until we are not. later you'll find that it's actually not very crucial what you do or don't do right now. the more important thing is to focus on whether your decisions are the right ones for you
maybe this will help for comparison - around month 4 or 5 , can't quite remember, maybe it was later (my point being that afterwards you can't even bloody remember), h asked me not just for money to buy cigarettes, he asked me to buy him a house!!
i freaked for 2 days, and then when i calmed down, i said that i couldn't - and he went ballistic.
it's part of the whole scene. you've gone dark - she doesn't like it.
I can't advise you NOT to give her money because i have no idea what your arrangement is. right now, focus on what your arrangement with her has been, or what you would like it to be and get your details ready and post them here first
you don't have to answer her right away - in fact wait until serenity and starsky have a chance to come on and give their opinion. she will probably send you nuttier and nuttier texts during the next few hours - you're at work right?
just ignore them. if you have truly been dark - she's just trying to push your buttons to see where you are at, and you MUST NOT JUMP TO THE BAIT!!
as far as i'm concerned - you should not be "doing" much for her right now.
but do some deep breathing here mac, and just realize that this is not as important as it seems to be, okay?
and start to trust that you can make the right decision. i know it's really really hard - i'm only starting to get the confidence now after a year - so i do know where you are at
the best thing - when in doubt about what to do, don't do anything. you can tell the WAS "I don't know, I need time to figure this out"
so focus on those things for now and we'll help you figure it out together
zig
me 46 H 38 M10yrs T 11 S10 BD ow 8/11 h filed 9/25/12
"if i could define enlightenment briefly, i would say it is the quiet acceptance of what is"
