DB Bootcamp -- verab754 with Kaffe Diem

[~ kd ~]

I think you're doing pretty good so far, vera. I just went back to your original request for a BOOTCAMP thread:

I would like some help keeping the focus on myself. I've been working on some fitness goals and GAL a lot (and had been well before BD as I'd recovered from a long-term illness). I feel better than I have in years. But now we are moving toward selling the house and it's hitting me really hard. I also work in the legal profession so the symbolism of D is very salient to me.

I did want to touch on a couple things that may keep the focus ON YOU:

Today he told me he got an apartment and would start sleeping there this week. I said "great!" when he told me this. A few hours later and I haven't even felt a drop of sadness over that.

What meaning does the bolded part above have, for you?

He wanted to talk tonight and I said that didn't work for me.

Why did it not work, for you? What was your intention, when you told him it didn't work? ie. What explanation would you have given him that was honest and truthful?

I went out for a little bit and he cornered me when i got back saying that he wanted to talk bc I don't answer his phone calls and am slow to respond to emails if I do at all.

Why do you not answer his phone calls? Why are you slow to respond to emails? Have you NOT responded to emails? Why?

I reiterated that I wasn't going to rush a major decision just bc he felt pressure now that he's signed a lease.

You explain that you WON'T rush a decision? That is good, one should do due diligence. What I found interesting is that rather than indicating due diligence, your mention it's because of pressure from your H. Are you resisting what you feel as pressure from your H or is there some other productive, positive reason for holding off? ie. What POSITIVE work towards making this major decision, are you doing?