One thing that those who recognize and understand about transitions, is that is something one does... "alone"... they may or may not be in a R or M... what they DO... is internal work to discover or re-discover... or re-make... themselves...
MLC OTOH, is almost synonymous with both... "mid life"... and marriage situations...
There's triggers (and looking at transitions, there are ALSO triggers)... and somehow the situation goes from transition to crises. A transition may not be "spotted" so readily... once its a crises, it already too late to back off and prevent it from becoming a crises.
Perhaps... a theory, if you will... the transitions become a crises... perhaps in part... perhaps in LARGE part... that the person in transition begins to feel smothered by the LBS, when all the WAS wants... is space. ie. The LBS recognizes there's a problem and begins to focus on the WAS and the WAS is really just trying to work out their transition and the LBS is interfering... thus, the crises...
So what does that have to do with DBing?
Well, as it is a crises of a particular nature, backing off (giving space, end pursuit / smothering) appears to help.
Second, detaching is important as the LBS needs to understand... it's NOT personal...
Third, GAL helps the LBS continue to live a full life, regardless of the "state" of the MLCer... and / or... the M... and / or any possible future of the two, together or separate...
Doing these things just MAY help the MLCer de-escalate the crises to something a little more... manageable... the transition will still take time... just maybe... not as much time as a MLC...
There's more, I just wanted to put the above "out there" as food for thought.
