I might be off course a little, I personally see DR and much of what MWD saying is stressing that infidelity is often a symptom of a deeper, underlying problem.
As opposed to someone who might be focused on infidelity as the problem.
My take on that, in context of pursuit / distance is that if infidelity is the symptom, it could be the LBS was distanced from the WAS so the WAS sought getting their needs met elsewhere.
Therefore, pursuit MIGHT be appropriate.
This might be the off course bit.
In the MLC forum, that's often seen as "poking the bear". ie. We will directly contact the WAS to "take a temperature" of the WAS to see if they are receptive to us. That may not make sense, although we can tell that if they are receptive, then we may work on seeking further connection with them. If they spew at us, we know we need to continue to stay away. Many don't do it purposely, the results are the same.
In what might be considered "generic infidelity", the WAS MAY be desiring to have their needs met by the LBS. So if distance is "more of the same" which set up a condition of the WAS seeking elsewhere... "doing something different" or "a 180" might be pursuit, to see if the WAS would be receptive to re-engaging or re-connecting with the LBS.
If the WAS is receptive to that and that direction is set up and begun, then the process of healing from the infidelity can begin.
If the WAS is NOT receptive... is the WAS just set in their course... and / or... is that because they don't see the LBS as a "better option"...
And finally, it is up to the LBS to decide... IF... they want to be a better option...
