Detachment IS very important for many. Especially for stopping the desperate chase in the beginning that rings false for the partner.
But, for SOME it is just as important to re-engage and perhaps pursue.
There is NO onesizefitsall.
If your coach is suggesting that you test the waters, reconnect, etc, you can bet your coach has a great reason for that.
Detaching CAN be moreofthe same.
If you are unsure and not under the guidance of a coach..........GO THROUGH THE STEPS in DR/DB or KLA.
dbmod,
In what circumstances does Michele teach that pursuit is appropriate?
Is it ever appropriate to pursue when the wayward spouse is still in their affair?
Trying to understand, in the context of the thread title, where the limits lie.
Starsky
am very glad you asked Starsky. I understand that many folks, especially due to the pain, see Infidelty as a completely separate book, topic. And Michele doesn't address it that way. It's a subset (remember CONTEXT) of DR. Besides her Blogs and posts and individual consults, it is not separately addressed. And of course, it isn't indexed in DR.
But you will see it as advice in testing the waters. And even in the Infidelity chapter, Michele NEVER suggests setting boundaries and completely dropping out of the marriage EXCEPT as AFTER THE LAST RESORT TECHNIQUE...CLEARLY INDICATING THIS MAY END YOUR MARRIAGE.
