It has been awhile but I am happier than ever.

[sgctxok]

Concurrently, I had the front row seat to one of my best girlfriend's situation.


She divorced an a$$ (in both of our humble opinions) who didn't want to be a father. They had 3 kids together and divorced. He really didn't pay much alimony (neither did my ex), and only visited one kid at a time. (my ex eventually didn't visit either, something I would never guess....that's a separate story and I'll leave it out)

She didn't date. Basically every for about maybe 10 years. I did. I thought I had moved on better.

Later...we both meet men we will stay with.

We both dated each of these men for awhile ... a LONG while...before commitment.

We have had and learned to build our skillsets in these relationships.

She did not put her friends, family (kids, parents, brothers and sisters, coworkers) through hell during this time.

I did.


I think I remember you don't have kids yet. But there are lots of ways to build your relationship skillsets....and dating is actually the harder way. I don't judge you doing it....I did it myself.



I will tell you in the relationship with the love of my life....lack of skillset for both of us led to a breakup. When we got back together I had recently got in touch with an old bf, and that conversation went on for about 2 months. HUGE A$$ MISTAKE.


IF YOU CAN...and we can HELP:

Build your skillset. You might be too young not to go out at all....but keep it very light and casual mno matter how you feel. It takes YEARS to know someone. Don't get serious for another year. Seriously don't.


Be kind to your ex. I wish I had been kinder. If he had been able to resolve his stuff (we divorced in 1994); it would have been the best thing.


Kindness is seriously major. Treat kindness to your ex more importantly than involvement with the new guy. Even if he doesn't deserve it. I don't mean do his laundry. I mean respect.


Like a compliment will help a woman heal...RESPECT helps a man heal. I would have done that differently. I wouldn't have had that first relationship so quickly. And I love that (first relationship) so dearly (he's the one that passed). But life in general would have went better if I had waited.


Just think about it. No judgment.