Yes! I take full responsibility for my actions on how I treated her about money...It wasn't all of the time, but when I did belittle her with my rude & sarcastic comments, I went too far & truly understand how that is very hurtful (hind sight is 20/20). She never really brought it up to me in the past, other than a comment here & there about why I was being so angry about her shopping/spending (no full discussions). Of course I should have read between the lines as her communicating to me that my behavior was uncalled for & unacceptable.
She never really accused me of being controlling or selfish over the years that I can recall...Of course I can't be 100% sure, because she may have made comments or statements to me, but I was too ignorant to pick up on them.
We both have our faults for sure & I take full responsibility for mine! I am focusing on correcting them internally & through the help of my Therapist. I truly feel that over the last 5 months I am starting to feel the changes stick & truly feel better overall because of them.
The second PA happened right after the 1st (kind of back-to-back I think) before she had left me the first time about 2 to 2.5 years into our marriage. I am not sure if you would classify them as PA's or one night stands? I never found out about them until after we reconciled the first time. Her sister & her were very competitive & arguing, so her sister took it upon herself to call me and tell me everything. I almost wish I never found out, but my W owned up to everything & I forgave her. It took me a long time to get over those insecurities, but rebuilt that trust with her. 2 kids & 12 years after that here we are
I firmly believe in us reconciling & have a ton of hope inside about it. Everyone who knows us has stated that we truly were a great team & meshed well together. Thank you for your warm words Sandi, I definitely need them for the road ahead.
I will have laptop with me on the trip, and will be on here as often as possible to soak up the knowledge from Vets & Newbies.
