Hi VC. I admire you so much and wish I could take a leaf out of your book and do as you have done. Our situations seem so similar with both our H's denying a PA but having correspondence that points to a PA. How did you make that decision to move forward. Each time I think that I will try to do that my head screams at me that I don't believe him and he'll quite innocently touch me and I cringe. I am so devastated, I wanted so badly to get past this and not break up our family but it just seems to be too big a stumbling block for me.
I have told him over and over that if he just told me the truth it would be easier for me to forgive and put it behind me and each time he insists that he has told me the truth and hasn't done what I think he's done. Yes, he knows that I am grossed out by him touching me in any way and is gutted. He looks so sad when he sees my response which makes me feel so bad. I just feel like this nightmare will never end. I feel like I'm living a lie, pretending to everyone that we're in a happy marriage when all the time I'm thinking I should get out, but then I see the children's faces when he comes home from work and how could I destroy that for them by asking for a D, despite it being down to something he has done. I wish I could just erase my memory.
