Now, [b]my struggle is not making the same mistakes in this relationship because I've acted, felt, been a certain way for the past four years [b] and it certainly is a challenge. . . .
Does anyone have any advice for what to do when starting a new relationship after a divorce? A lot of people have told me it's "too soon" but I feel comfortable with it and I am taking it slowly. . . .
I find myself [b] always assuming things that are not necessarily the case, based on what I anticipated my ex-husband intended in the past. [b] I think that's the hardest part, because there are things we don't yet know about each other, which is exciting but also [b] scary because one doesn't always know how the other is going to react.[b] We've had great success with being open and always communicating with one another, which I appreciate so much, but [b] sometimes there's a misstep and I get worried that I'm going to "ruin" something.[b] . . .
I know a lot of "experts" say that if you are comparing your new relationship to your old one, you're probably not ready. Obviously everyone is going to make the comparison, but, anyway, I just wanted to share.
Hi sophie, glad to hear you are feeling better about life in general. You're so young and you have fine through some very heavy things over the past few months.
I agree with the above thoughts that only you can determine when you are ready for a new R. However I bolded some things that stuck out to me above... You say that you are having trouble breaking out of some old behavior patterns. You are very worried that the smallest misstep will bring "ruin" on your current R. In a way your current R is very affected by how you were treated in your last R.
What have you done for yourself to heal from your M other than start dating someone new? Are you in IC?
