ah I read the bootcamp thread and then this made a bit more sense to me.
I understand what you mean about putting on a facade and seeming stronger than you are. So many of us do this. Men moreso if you think from a young age they are told to buck up not to cry etc.
but this.....
Quote:
and then when i try to ask for help the general answer is that - look at you you don't need help here, in fact you should be helping the others.
and it brings me to thinking - wow, i am still so afraid of showing my true vulnerability and weaknesses, that even on line, where there is a semblance of anonymity, i still manage to give this impression of being really strong and capable -
a) there's no vet that has it all figured out. KD just confirmed that. But they were once where you and I are and now they're not. In the same way that a person who comes to this board lost, confused, hurting to the point that they can't function on a daily basis is where I was and now I'm not and so I can say it will get better, try to think about everything good in your life and all the things that helped me then. And that's what you can do advise people who haven't made it to your part of the path.
b)I think you are stronger and more capable than YOU give YOU credit for. and that's the accountability part. I think SG was saying that when they took on being a mod they became more responsible. In the way that you have to make responsible choices when you're a mom because you have someone else to look out for. OR it could be ...... sometimes when I'm writing on someone else's sitch I have a break through of my own. It's like you can see someone else's wrong thinking or downfall more than your own because you don't have all the personal attachment and then you think hang on....and you learn from that.
You do have something to give! You only have to look at all the feedback you get on here! You are giving and warm and caring and kind. You always help someone out whether it's reassurance or 2x4 and you've been doing it for awhile....and doing a fab job of it!
Pat yourself on the back or give yourself a high five from me!
