"demeaning and belittling to her when it came to money, but I don't know."
Sure you know. Maybe where your uncertainty lies is that it was in the area of money only? Belittling is a sure killer of relationships! Was it ever discussed?
"Maybe it's because after all this blew up she has been lashing out at me and stated that I am very controlling and manipulative"
Protecting yourself in a D can be seen as controlling, selfish, etc. Did she not accuse you of being like that in the past?
Don't give up! It won't be easy, but there is a good chance that you will have a future with your W. It will take lots of time, no expectations, and you turning loose of your need to control her.
Stay in touch with us while you're away on your trip, if possible.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
