Yes this anger will still come up, I think that's inevitable. But as you heal, the anger will become less and less. When it does come up, it will only stay for a short time, and then be gone.
I think the best thing we can do for oursevles is give ourselves permission to grieve. Give ourselves permission to let the emotions wash over us, and we take the time we need to sort through it all. And accept it's going to take a long time to work through this and don't fight it. It's ok to grieve.
Sometimes I've thought that the WAS seems to engage the LBS in some sort of game of "one up man ship" as to who's life is better by who does the best GAL things. Or maybe we the LBS tend to do that given how we look at their lives at face value. I know that's how I felt. But then when you realize what their lives really are about and what their priorities are, compared to what your priorities and life is about.....well I choose the LBS as the best candidate. Personally I'd rather have my life about the ones I love, raise my children to the best of my ability and live an authentic life with integrity and truth, compared to riding inmature high's of blowing money and fornicating with new people.
Learning to let go and accept that their train of thoughts and thinking are very abnormal really helps.In fact this morning I was thinking about XH and how irrational he acts, and once again was questioning if I missed something. So I went back and read old texts from a few weeks ago. NOPE! IT AINT ME!
Seriously, if we knew for a fact that someone else was diagnosed with bi polar disorder, schizophenia, etc, it would be much easier to accept that behavior without behing offended or angered wouldn't it?
And to be truthful...getting a little info on the side to indicate that their lives aren't going so great, is self satisfying and helps boost our ego's a bit. I admit it did mine...for a short time. Just be quiet, and listen. Stand back and be objective, as if he were not your husband and put the pieces together. Your perspective will change!
Ego boost or not, I started to feel sorry for him. Then I felt glad I felt sorry for him because that proves that I have EMPATHY. You will too IB, it just takes time.
