Thanks for the insight on what is going through a WAW's mind! I can definitely use more insight like that, just to gain a perspective on what it is she is/may be thinking about.
dbmod,
I am definitely not ready for AftLRT yet! I will stick with Starsky's words & follow what I have read in the book. I read through Gucci's thread just to gain some insight, but am not ready to go to those extremes yet.
Starsky,
I am not 100% sure of what made me get it. I seriously woke up one morning like a light bulb went of in my head. I was trying to truly figure out the phrase Let Go and Let GOD! But I couldn't just truly let go. I think maybe while I was sleeping that night he gave me that little extra nudge to let me know that he's got it covered & to stop hanging on too tightly. When I got to work that day, I started googling stuff & almost immediately it led me to this board. I went out & bought the book almost immediately while taking kids shopping for school clothes. Read through almost all of it & for some reason it all made sense. I realized that I was doing the exact opposite of what I should have been doing & that the more I pursued her, the more she pulled away & lashed out at me with each interaction we had.
Then I looked back at some of the things that I did do right while interacting with her & said to myself (you idiot), why are you not respecting her wishes to give her space etc...So here I am today (5 months) later, reading & learning from MWD and those who have been down the road. My hope is to truly reconcile & have a better marriage than we have ever had before. But I want her to come back because it is what she wants, and not out of need. I think I really did what the typical man in the world today does, which is to take advantage of what is right in front of my face & not be appreciative of what I truly had.
My wife dropped the bomb on me & for some reason I said to myself (what are you doing Dumb A$$?), you truly have a wonderful woman & phenominal mother of your children, and you are throwing it all away. So I said put your big boy pants on and pull your head out of your A$$ before you continue down the same old rabbit hole you have been venturing down for the last couple of years. I saw strength in her when she told me what she did, and realized that she really didn't "NEED" me to survive or be happy. Of course a lot more went through my head as I analyzed my life & priorities, but that would have to be published in a 4 part novel series for later reading...LoL
Also, not sure how much impact it really had...But my sister told me to look up the song "Hold on Loosely" by 38 Special & listen/read the words. For some strange reason, that song made sense.
I think that you have become my unofficial mentor Starsky, if you don't mind?
